doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
