No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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