Barsexuality is the new black.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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