go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
