she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
