she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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