Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
