Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
