he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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