You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
