What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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