So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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