you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
