Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
