apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
