i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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