I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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