i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Randomize
