At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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