Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She needs sedatives and a leash
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
