I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
