Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
