just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
