Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
