i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
