Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
