Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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