Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Randomize
