I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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