Midget sex pt 2 tonight
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
