i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
