I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
