So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
