singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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