you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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