Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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