You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
