Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
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