I'm so fucking centered right now
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize