what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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