just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
