Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
