If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
