i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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