is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
