She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
