I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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