So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
