At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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