4 words: hood of his car
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
